No Clue November

Recently, I authored a post on dating and No Fear November. Despite the understandable motives, I expressed my disagreement with the idea of No Fear November. Apparently, my opinion is a vastly different and opposed one here on this campus. While a few people enjoyed the post, I was met with active disagreement through comments on the post and from people approaching me about it. It wouldn’t make sense for me to write an apparently controversial post and not pay attention to the feedback I receive. So I have thought about my post, I have considered the criticism provided by others, and I desire to address the idea of No Fear November once again.

In my last post, I addressed the idea of dating. I will admit that I tried to universalize one use of “dating” by applying it to a different use of “dating.” In hindsight, it was a rather closed-minded approach to the discussion of dating. There is clearly a distinction to be made between dating and going on dates. While dating would refer to an exclusive relationship, dates are intended to deepen a relationship, whether that be friendships or exclusive relationships that are seriously discerning marriage. Dates can be a means by which people can test the waters, so-to-speak, to see if something is there. I understand that: dates do not necessarily imply a commitment to one another; they are merely a time to grow together as two people.

ResLife has an admirable desire: to better the dating culture here at Franciscan University. That is something that is definitely needed. By guys asking girls out on dates, it can help prevent some of those short-lasting relationships or just relationships where it isn’t really understood what is going on. This is definitely needed around here. However, it’s one thing to want something, and it’s another thing to sponsor a program for it. We’re in college; we’re 18+ years old. While we don’t exactly have the best dating culture here or the best understanding of proper relationships (which is something one would think we would have here of all places), No Fear November is probably not the best way to go about this. We are (technically) adults. Why not do the usual talk on the needed topic? So yes, going on dates is a good thing. But No Fear November, while based off of a solid premise, is not the best way to better the dating culture here.

Is there a right/best way to go about improving the dating culture here? I have no clue. I doubt it. However, in my opinion, there are better ways to go about it than No Fear November. Will I participate in No Fear November? I have no clue. It’s only the 6th of November at this point. I’m not a complete pessimist, though. I’m more of a realist. I recognize that, while this is not the best approach to the crappy dating culture on and off campus, No Fear November COULD be helpful. We shall see. Time will tell. For now, I will live my life. If people feel the need or the desire to participate in No Fear November, that might be good; it might be a good thing for them. If people don’t want to participate, that’s fine too. It’s not a perfect plan. It might be helpful for some and not for others. Time will tell. This is not exactly a black-or-white discussion. It’s not the best approach, but it’s the cards we’ve been handed. So we shall see where it takes us. However, we need to be ready to accept any of the consequences that result from this month, good or bad.

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices,
and we have to accept the consequences of every deed,
word, and thought throughout our lifetime.”

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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Duc In Altum

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